Lestrade, upon hearing Sherlock's pronouncement, gave John an amused look before thrusting the offending object into Sherlock's arms and simply walking away.
"John. JOHN. What do I do with it?" The usual baritone was suffused with a mild note of panic as the infant woke up, startled by its sudden change in position, and looked up at him, puzzled.
"It's a baby, Sherlock, you just have to hold it," said John, frowning, as Sherlock held it up under the arms to examine it critically. "And it's actually a he, you know."
"Yes, yes, I know its name," he said, turning it around to examine the other side. "Not very interesting." His elbows were bent at odd angles to keep the child aloft, and it made some soft blurbling noises, causing Sherlock to wrinkle his noise and move his arms a little farther away from his body.
"That's not how you're supposed to hold him, you're doing it wrong," said John.
"This is a perfectly fine way! Look, he's happy, he's drooling. See?" He turned the baby back aroun